Saturday, 11 April 2009

Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...........

The weather is getting warmer.
Which is great. 'cept for one thing.
The ants.
The fucking ants are back. Bastards!
I hate the tiny crawling industrious little fucking creatures. I do.
Now the little shaggers can do what the fuck they like OUTSIDE my abode.
Carry leaves forty times their own weight to their colonies of multitudity!(is that a word?)
But stay the fuck out of my kitchen. Please.
Came home from the gig tonight, and obviously someone had made an early start on the easter eggs! Litttle crumbs of the choc of late on the floor.
And the fuckin' ants having thereselves a wild ole time. Bastards.
DEAD bastards now. A size 12 can do great destruction in a very small time.
When it comes to ant killing I am the Michael Flatley of insect demise.
Bastards. Dead litle bastards tho'.


  1. LOL!!!

    I can see you stomping around the kitchen, squishing all those little ants!

    Where's a video camera when you need one?

  2. Don't tell Lulu over at Earwig Sandwich, she might get upset.

    I remember doing this dance in my youth, except I think I resembled Dian Dors more than anyone else.

    Have a great time eating what's left of your eggs.

  3. Boiling water.. lime mortar.. lemon juice.

    Deadlier than death itself.

  4. Map,

    I'll see your ants and raise you 15K dead ones bro.

    No seriously, I am allergic to ants. I believe there are Ant Bounty Hunters attempting to bring me down.

    I never held any animosity towards them growing up in Chicago (if you omit childhood fireworks on the Fourth of July). Fast forward to my days in Texas and it's a full blown assault on my feet, biting me the little fuckers. I had to be rushed to the hospital.

    So now they're on my hit list too (same as flies, rats and roaches). Since I'm environmentally conscious, I give them something biodegradable to think about; a quick and efficient death.

    Look at us Map and Jimmy, we're talking about killing ants on Easter Sunday.

    I'm gonna be nice the rest of the day.

    Jimmy, Where the hell have you been brother? I think Map and I are deserving of a round. You know I'm kidding! Most glad to see you Jimmy, most glad indeed.


  5. Good day Mappy,
    Sorry about those ants.
    My BF is battling with these nasty carpenter ants. They are eating up the wood in his front porch.
    It's a losing battle.
    Soon we won't have a porch...
    The pubs are open today, on Easter Sunday.
    I will have a pint (or two) of Guiness for you!

  6. Map and U: the two of you each need an pet anteater...

    Jimmy's back! He left me a comment... he's okay, was just working in London on short notice.

  7. so, there y'all have it! ants and jimmy back on easter sunday! ;) there is some sort of harmony there...or maybe i've just had one too many solitary mimosas (miss daisy off to mass & the MITM to a round of golf) xoxoxo

  8. Actually, I think that I hate woodlice more than ants. They're everywhere right now and really bug me.

  9. U, Map, my apologies gentlemen.. I have been working around the clock on a supermarket refit in England.

    It is my round I do believe. Bartender.. Pints and a wee drap for my friends!

  10. Pon; yeah, you should'a seen it. And me in my undies!!

    Madame DF; The great Diana Dors? Have you got photies?

    Jimmy; I'm gettin' round ta ye!

    U; We just have to pick a time and date for the piss-up with Jimmy. He's paying of course!!

    Auntie; darlin' the pubs are open here too sweetie. And the Map is takin' advantage of same!!!!!

    Pon; anteaters me hole! And the Map ain't finished wiv the Jimmy yet!

    Sav; honey, most things come right in the end. xoxox

    Madame DF;Woodlice? (Heaving)

    Jimmy; Where do we start? People cares about thee my man! We worry. Aboot arr frayends!!