Thursday, 30 July 2009

She's Up!

Yeah, the Ma is up and about.
Well not so much 'about', but She IS up.
And when I say up, I mean down.
Downstairs that is, out of the bed.
And back in the land of daytime t.v.
Which is how She views the world most days.
And when I say up, I mean I actually got a laugh from Her today.
Even though that very same up is, shall we say, chemically enhanced!
(Thank you Doc!)
But fuckit She's up.
So up is She, that She thinks She might 'have a little DO' to celebrate her upcoming birthday next week!
She shall go to the ball!
Well maybe not an actual ball.
But A 'Do' will be 'Done'.
And fun will be had by all!


Saturday, 25 July 2009

What's a boy to do?

The Ma has taken to Her bed.

Here's another one of Her songs from my childhood.
Amazing how memories work.
Work their way back into yer head.

And sure while we're at it, here's Da's tune!

Tuesday, 14 July 2009


Mam gave me a present a couple of days ago.
For no particular reason.
It's not just me, She's giving things to everyone it seems.
She gave me a litre of brandy, Hennessy, my favourite.
I always have one Hennessy before every gig I do.
And She knows this.

"And keep it to one", She says.
"Make that bottle last a while"!

I don't have a gig tonight.
But I've opened the bottle anyway.
I'm drinking my Hennessy from a wonderful tumbler.
Which I stole from one of my wedding parties at the weekend!

I'm just pure fuckin' evil me!

Cheers to all.

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Two men kiss.

So, I was out on the tear with some guys.
And we was having a good time.
Drinkin' and such.
As guys do.
Me, and Pete, and Fats, and Adam.
And the Guinness doth flow.
Oh, merrily on high!
But forsooth, the night doth come, as it do, to an end.
And the merry band of men, must, as is their wont, return to their maidens.
And so a carriage was called.
To take yon merry (nay, VERY merry) men to yon vestibules!
And upon arriving at the first of said abodes,
The eldest of the said merry men (fats) did kisseth yon other fair youth (Pete)
A goodnight kiss, on the lips, no less.
And the Map did find it indeed charming!
For indeed as the Fats was a man of seven decades,
And the Pete was of two score and four,
It was indeed lovely to see a man kiss another man,
His son, goodnight!

My friend and his dad always kiss each other goodnight!

That, in my opinion, is so fuckin' cool!

I never had that chance.

So fuckin' cool!

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Rewritten. With apologies.

It's 3:02
It's Thursday morning
And I'm here with you

I'm sippin' beer
It keeps me mellow
And it adds some cheer

I've just come back
From a wedding
Yeah, we had some craic

We met some pals
It's been a while
And they were with their gals

And they was dancin' free
Just let your hair down
C'mon, dance with me

We reminisced
Talked of the old times
When we used to get pissed*

We sang and laughed
We drank some more
'How 'bout another draught'?

Lets stagger home
All hands around each other's
Shoulders home

But before we go
Lets raise a glass
To all those folks we know

Who can't be here
But if they could
They'd join us in our cheer

So, line 'em up Moe
Homer's gone
That's all ya need to know

And make it one for my baby
And one more for the road.

*drunk (I know 'pissed' means something else to y'all)

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Sunday Night

This was what I heard every Sunday night when I was a kid!

But it was Mam and Dad, not Jeanette and Nelson.

They would sing to each other, with love.

It would 'annoy' us kids, 'cos we had school next day.

But secretly, we loved it!

'Cos fuckit, our parents were singing to each other.

While the kids next door had to listen to their dad beatin' the crap out of their Ma!

And I wonder where I got the singing bug?

Thursday, 2 July 2009

Do You Mary? NO I Fuckin' Don't. What about the Band?

Mary; "Johnny, I have somthin' ta tell ya"

Johnny; "ah fuck Mary, wha' da fuck is it now?"

Mary; "I tink I don't love ya no more Johnny".

Johnny; " ah fuck Mary, that means that we have to call off da wedding, and ruin everybody's day, which they were all lookin' forward to, not to mention the BAND who were depending on the fee we were giving them, which, when you think about it , is their only source of income, and them having college going kids, must be a major kick in the hole! Maybe we should just go through the motions, just for their sakes, huh?"

No brainer!

Yeah, bastards split up without tellin' US!!

So NO wedding tonight!

People can be SO inconsiderate!

Bastard brides, always thinking of themselves!

The BAND? Does anyone ever think of the BAND?

We Can't survive on a 10% deposit!

Have you never heard of D.I.V.O.R.C.E.?