Friday, 31 December 2010

Will Ye No Come Back Again?

A happy & peaceful new year to you all my dear friends.

Wouldn't it be great to see world peace and an end to all wars?
I reckon if all nations recruited only gays into the military then war would be a thing of the past.
Just imagine, " I'm not shooting you, You're fucking Gorgeous"!

Thursday, 30 December 2010

If You Build It, They Will Fill It With Stuff!

I've always been convinced that people are obsessed with putting stuff in/on any available space. Even if they have no stuff to hand, when they see an empty vessel, or bare table/clear worktop, or floor void of furniture, they will go and search for stuff to put in/on said space!

I have commented on this to Mrs. Map and all the Maplettes on numerous occasions, but they all reply with the usual 'ptfft'! (Dad on one of his missions again!)

So this evening, before I left for my gig, I put an empty bread basket on top of the microwave oven. Upon my return it contained TWO cameras, a Calculator, a Bracelet, two Dress Rings, a pair of headphones, a keyring and half a bag of Hulahoops (a spud based snack!)

I rest my case! (Remember, I am the only male in a family of five!) :¬)

Monday, 27 December 2010


'Killing me softly', what a fucking song!
I had to sing it tonight, and I swear it drained the fucking life out of me!
It made me want 'to die' in more ways than one.
It made me want to hurt many people with rusty microphones, in places where microphones were never meant to be.
WHY would a bride request this drivel for her first song with her new husband?
It's beyond me my friends!
I have yet to find a more boring, life sapping piece of shit put to music.
It just seems to go on FOREVER.
I have promised myself as a new Years gift, never to sing this piece of tripe again!
And I have never said this of any other song.


Thursday, 23 December 2010


So, ever since we got married, and especially since the babies came on board, this is what we do on Christmas eve.
We call it the Santa run.
All five of us load up the Stew Wagon with our gifts, and off we go.

Nanna Stew is usually first call, Aunty Rena lives there too, and so does niece Carol at the moment, and grand-niece Abbie. So four birds with the one stone.
Then uncle Eddie & Val. (My youngest Bro & his wife & family.) Then Bobby, Jacinta, Jimmy, Helen. Pajoe, Noelie. Mrs. Mac, my Bud Jim & Ber & Lexie, Paul & Fran, Aisling & Aine. And More.

I never gig on Christmas eve, too tired from the visits, and so much to do.

I start cooking my ham about 9pm. Then start my veg preps. We don't do turkey, but we have a leg of lamb and two ducks.

Starters to get ready, desserts to prepare, wine to cool.

Better get to the 'leaba'!(Bed!)

Tá a lán tuirse orm!
Oiche mhaith agat mo chairde go léir!

I sang this song for the first time tonight.

Love it, Love Bruce.

(Ya HAVE ta love Bruce!)



Wednesday, 22 December 2010

It Was A Cold Dark Night!

Went to a comedy club tonight.
The four support acts were that bad I lost the will to live, let alone wait for the guy I went to see! (Dave McSavage.)
I did bump into him in the lav though!
He looked sadder than me.
(Nice hat though!)
And he had yet to face the crowd I had just left.
Dave is a seriously funny man.
But don't keep us waiting Dave, don't wait for a bigger crowd.Don't be hangin' out in the lav!
Come upstairs and make us laugh.You lost a good audience, cos people were leaving in droves! Well maybe not droves, but TWOS! As did the 'Maps.! (It was a small crowd to start off with!)


My first review!

Monday, 20 December 2010

A Little Memory For UB! (tee-hee!)

And many thanks to all of you who sent Christmas cards!
I am having your hand-writing analysed as we speak! :¬)

Friday, 17 December 2010

Black & White

We put up two Christmas trees this year.
(Some years we put up FIVE! One year we had ELEVEN!)

The Black, Goth tree is in the front (living) room. It's a spiral, pop-up tree, takes two mins to put up, all the decorations and lights permanently attached.

The White, snow covered mystical tree, is in the 'extension', the newest part of the house, at the back. It takes many hours of loving dedication to decorate, (in white and silver trimmings), by the girls. When they were younger I would tell them where to put each bauble and snowflake, each frosted pine cone and feather. Now I just get the stuff from the attic and let them at it. Needless to say, the tree looks much more fantastical these days! This is the tree under which all the gifts appear. This is the room where we all spend the first hour of Christmas morning, in our Jammies, usually VERY early!

The Black tree is the one you can see from the street, and it looks great through the window, for all who pass by to see, even though it has taken little or effort to assemble.

The White tree is seen only from the inside, by us, and our friends and loved ones who come to visit. A lot of time, dedication and love has gone into how it looks.

I wish you all peace, love and health.
Be nice to your friends.
And even nicer to everybody else!

Friday, 10 December 2010

'Stories For Sale'

I went drinking with my very good friend 'Paul The Plumber' last night. He can drink even more beer than I can! Many people think he is always 'down', but really he's just a deep thinker. He doesn't suffer fools and always says what's on his mind. Some people don't like him for this, and it bothers him none! He often goes to our little bar alone, sitting by himself in deep thought, minding his own business. But if anybody, including strangers start a conversation with him he will gladly take you into his company. If he likes you. I, for some reason, have the ability to make him laugh out loud! Something that happened quite a few times last night, making the rest of the regulars stare at us more than once!

('PTP' was a guitar player in the very first band I was ever in, and we became friends instantly. He moved to America not long after the band split, returning about 10 years ago and bought a house around the corner from mine.)

Last night, as the drink flowed, and we ran out of things to say about plumbing and Celtic FC (his two fave subjects, Jimmy would like him!), we started to talk about music (my fave subject! REALLY!) and had a big chat about Christy Hennessy (RIP). A great singer/songwriter/performer. And a lovely man. He had the happiest face I've ever seen, it radiates peace and contentment, unlike Paul's! (Only joking!)

I didn't know Christy personally, sadly, but I'm more than glad to know Paul.