Tuesday, 30 June 2009

A couple of things.

1. So I 'slept' last night, but had a very strange dream.
Which involved telling a very old nun that it was illegal to smoke in Tesco.
What the fuck was that all about?

2. Everyone else busy today 'cept the Youngest and meself.
So I asked her what she wanted to do.


So I indulged Her.

For five hours.

(And enjoyed every minute of it!)

And She came home with many purchases.

And my wallet was lighter.

But so was my heart.

Happy Day.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Weird week

7 days.
4 weddings.
And a funeral.

'Lost In Music'?

I have learned the art.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Tuesday, 23 June 2009


Our Dearest Helen left us during the night.
She was surrounded by her family and friends.
It was very peaceful.

Thanks to everybody for your kind and encouraging comments on my last post.

I will talk to you all soon.


Saturday, 20 June 2009


Where do I start?
My head is RIGHT fucked up now.
And I am TOO calm for my own good.
We have spent most of the week in the Hospice.
Sitting with Helen.
Three times already we were told to gather all the family to say goodbye.
But my Sis is a fighter!
She so does not want to leave us, and her children.
She has two daughters, they are so strong, I am so proud of them.
And six sons, who, like her six brothers, are trying to be strong.
And one sister, my kid sister Rena, they are SO united!
Even tho' they were born 20 years apart.
We, the boys, spend our time telling silly jokes, amusing each other, typical man-way
of getting through stressful times.
And the girls, our sisters and wives, see that we cope in our own stupid way.
And still love us.
And Mam.
Her heart is broken.
She asks why her firstborn is being taken.
She says it is her who should go first.
She says that at 84, she has had a good life, and her child should live on.
Twice in as many days I have had to leave my family and 'put on my happy face' to entertain wedding parties.
Which is what I do for a living.
I don't know where I get the strength from.
I really don't.
Somehow, I have learned to 'become' the performer.
Does that make me an uncaring bastard?
Or, have I , through age and life experience, come to terms with reality?
With life.
And death.
I think maybe I have learned to put grief 'in a box'.
In a box which HAS to be opened.
But opened when the time is right.
'After the show'
For the show must go on.
Is life a show, which must go on?
We are a big family, and all of us weak, in our own way.
But together, in these past couple of weeks especially, we have drawn such great strength from each other.
I did not take my phone to the gig tonight.
I had to be in my happy place for my clients.
And they had a great night.
And I lost myself in them.
I am home now, and I must switch my phone on.
I am scared.
I draw from your strength.
Goodnight my friends.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Imelda May (or may not!)

The Eldest Teenager gave me a wonderful CD for me birthday.
This Dublin lady is class.
One of my favourites right now.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

+ Vs -

The past couple of months have been strange.
And difficult.
And there have been some prophets of doom.
But only some.
There are SO many positive people out there.
Not least of all you lot!

Sis had to go to the hospice a couple of days ago.
We've just come from a visit.
A beautiful place.
They are working on her pain management.
And she is STILL one of the positive ones.

I'm learning to avoid, or ignore the negative people.

Tuesday, 9 June 2009


48 years ago on this day, my Mam gave birth to a boy.
Brother to a 10 year old boy.
Brother to a 14 year old boy.
Brother to a 16 year old girl.
Son to a Dad who had spent many years away.
Away to provide for his family.
To send money home to a land where money was hard to earn.
He came home 9 months previously.
I was much loved.
Still am.

Friday, 5 June 2009

West Coast Cool

Everyone was busy today 'cept meself and the Youngest.
So we headed off early for the first swim of the year in the Atlantic.
We got to our favourite beach about 11a.m.
We had the place to ourselves, and after dipping the toes in the water we quickly knew why!
The Atlantic hasn't turned up the thermostat at this side yet.

So we went cliff climbing, she's very adventurous and daring for a slight 10 yr old!
Then we ate our pre-packed lunch on the edge of said cliffs.
Her mother would not have approved!

And then we went searching for fossils and megalithic tombs.
(Actually, we just followed the signs to the megalithic tombs, but exciting none the less!)

She bought some crystals and stones and Dinosaur bones in 'The Rock Shop' near the Cliffs Of Moher, and can't wait to show off to Teacher and fellow pupils on Monday!

Father and Daughter had a very fun day.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009


I've been raidin' the Eldest Teenager's CD collection, looking for some 'new music'.

I found this , it's on the soundtrack for the movie 'AMELIE' by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, and starring Audrey Tautou. Haven't seen it, but it was huge all over Europe according to The Eldest, who also thinks it's the best movie ever! She's a bit of a Francophile!


Just found this in the back yard.
Looks like the work of The Youngest.