Saturday, 21 March 2009


A guy I know died yesterday.

I'd known him for a very long time, though we were never friends as such.

We first knew each other when we were young teenagers in the school pipe band.

We occassionally chatted when we met in one of the local pubs.

How ya doin', grand, and yerself?

That kinda thing.

He was always a quiet, minding my own business, never wanting to know your business person.

He shot himself thru' the head.

I've lost more than one close friend through suicide. And still, I don't get it.

O.K. I realise that each one of them must have been very depressed.

At the very fucking end of the line.

Obviously with nothing to live for. And still I don't get it. I don't. I love life.

And my life hasn't been exactly easy. But I love living. The challenge.

Every day I wake up is a day I look forward to. Another challenge.

I hope I will never be as low as those friends I have lost.

I hope my children will be burying me as a dear old Gramps.

I hope I keep this attitude.

I hope to die old and fulfilled. I do.

But who knows.


  1. Good evening,
    (It's still Sat. nite here in NY)
    Sorry to hear your acquaintance did this to himself.
    What a terrible and heavy burden his family and friends must endure.

  2. "Every day I wake up is a day I look forward to. Another challenge."

    You're right my friend. There's nothing left to say..

  3. That is so sad....

    I had a husband kill himself, in the depths of depression. I can only say that I am grateful he took Tylenol and whisky and did not shoot himself as I had to identify him (he was not at home when he did this).

    I don't think most people can think of suicide as a solution to anything. Not unless you are so down that you feel you are looking up at the bottom. I have never been there and am sure I never will be.

    Despite your distant relationship with him, my condolences to you... it still affects you.

  4. you'll live long, sugar. you have the right attitude for it! ;) xoxo

  5. Map - as others have said, my condolences. Suicide rarely makes sense, but no matter how bad life seems, it's the people left behind that have to ask the question why and there never seems to be an answer.

  6. Auntie, it is indeed terrible.
    Jimmy, so true buddy.
    Ponita, I have not ever, and I hope will never have to go thru' what you had to. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. My arms around you!
    Sav, thanks my darlin', I hope I do.
    Madame DF. It IS the people left behind, it is the wife, husband , child, parent, sibling.
    What could we have done, why didn't we notice, was it my fault??

  7. Thanks for the hug, Map... they are always appreciated.