Thursday 24 March 2011

Da.

I have written about him before. He is often on my mind, even 25 years after his death. I cannot put on my shoes in the morn without hearing him say "do ye want me to polish them properly for ya?"

Everytime I look at my face in the shaving mirror, I see him shaving his face, though having inherited Ma's family's features I look nothing like him.

It was he, and not the Ma, who taught me how to iron a shirt properly, how to press a suit, and how to get the pleats in my kilt just right! (It takes a long time to iron a kilt, stitch all the pleats together, and only take out the stitching just before a competition!)

He taught me how to knot a tie, how to wear a tie, when to wear a tie, when it was acceptable not to wear a tie. (I have a VAST collection of ties, still collect them.)

And yet, we were never that close. He was, as some people might say, very English! Very 'stiff upper lip', though you couldn't get a more patriotic Irish man! He was never one for hugging, kissing or cuddling. Never one for a slap on the back. But we knew he loved us. And though Ma was never affeared of givin' us a good slap, Da never once raised his hand in anger to us. And Ma would use this to her advantage. "Do ye want me to tell yer father how bold ye've been, do ye want him to slap ye?" (He never did!)

Da would have a pint every night on the way home from work, in Mr. Halpin's bar.
Mr. Halpin would give working men ONLY one pint each working night. He would then send them home to their families.

But on a Friday he would give them one pint, tell them go home with their wages, and come back for a few more if their wives would let them! There are not many Mr. Halpins around these days!

Da always stopped off at Monica's shop of a Friday, for the 'Bag Of Sweets'!
The bag was different every Friday, but one of us always had to answer a question to get the prize 'CRUNCHIE' each week! It didn't really matter 'cos all the 'sweets' were a treat for us!

I often wonder what memories my girls will have of me. I know I spend a lot of time with them, more time, I know, than my own Da was privileged to have with me. And I am priviliged to be in a position, because of my job, to spend so much time with them.

My Da was a 'worker' in the old fashioned sense. He got up early each day, worked a labouring slog, and was proud to do so to provide for his family. I know my lifestyle is so different from Da's, but I like to think I am carrying on his tradition.

I love you Dada, and I miss you every day.

31 comments:

  1. That was a beautiful tribute. nuff said.

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  2. We are very fortunate to live in this more enlightened time. There's more emphasis on spending time with your family than there used to be. We're all better off for it.

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  3. tis a day/time for remembering, bubba! the past and the present all here for us whenever we open our eyes. xoxoxo for you, sugar!

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  4. He was a good da, as are you, Map. Different but I'll bet your girls will cherish the many memories they have of time spent with you!!! I was remembering (and missing) both my mum and my dad today. xoxoxo

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  5. There'll be two more oul fella's at Mr Halpins the night, and I know at least one of them has the most terrible thirst for the black pints.

    I'll be there for the back of four, give us a wee honk of your horn when you'se get there, I'll have wee Malky bring you out a half of Magners and a packet of Tayto's as a treat.

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  6. A lovely tribute Maps. Life's all about the small things - sweets on a Friday, getting the tie right...

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  7. You do your father proud, Map.

    My childhood was very different to yours. Although my father is still alive (now the last of my children's grandparents), and I know he loves us, we were never as close as I would have liked. If we're lucky, we see him once a year.

    Fortunately my son and I are very close. And this weekend I'm taking him up to Edinburgh with me to the Tattoo Convention where I'm hoping to find some interesting characters to photograph. It's these wee "road trips" we do together that I hope will be a lasting memory for him.

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  8. My memories of my Dad are very like yours. A proud son of Galway who made a wonderful life for us in Australia. It is 29 years since he died so suddenly, his first grandchild 6 weeks old, I miss him terribly, but he lives on in the grandchildren who didn't get to meet him. And one of them is truely his wonderful spirit. Like you Map I hope I am remembered as fondly. Angela

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  9. When I had children of my own, I really wanted to give them the same that my parents had given to me Nothing to do with worldly goods - they were thin on the ground, but a loving secure home and the ability to recognise right from wrong and to treat everybody as you would wish to be treated.
    You have a great example to follow. BTW I've never ironed my kilts. Should I?

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  10. Great tribute to yer da mate. Unfortunately my da used my ma as a punchbag before fecking off and leaving her with 3 wee bairns, the prick hasn't been seen since and has not been missed. I hope my own boys will remember me in the same light that you remember yours.
    Is Mr Halpins boozer still there, I'm spending far too much cash in the pub.

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  11. Bloody brilliant post aboot yer da, sounds like he was a braw man.
    Cheers

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  12. Lovely, Map. Your Dad sounds like he was a wonderful, old-world style man. You do him justice here.

    Pearl

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  13. such a beautiful homage to your father, map - i am sure he is proud and bragging about it this very moment, from where he is! big shoes to fill and you're obviously doing a magnificent job with your girls! thanks so much for such a to touching tribute from the heart!

    xxx

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  14. Sometimes love is just knowing...and growing to appreciate as you get older.

    I had a great Dad...15 years gone & I still miss him. That's how you know your father was a good man...you still think of him. Still want to have a conversation.

    Sometimes...I'm half way to the phone to ask Dad a question before it hits me that would be a REALLY long distance call. :)

    Your girls are lucky. x

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  15. Kono; Thank you. :¬)

    UB; So true my friend! And if it were not for our kids we would never get to meet SO many Princesses! Eh? :¬)

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  16. sav; And sometimes we fail to see what is right in front of us. Thank you for being a friend missus, I am a better man for knowing you. :¬)

    xoxoxoxo

    Pon; As a mutual friend said to me today, 'it must be something in the air'! Hard to believe they are gone sometimes isn't it? Luckily for us we have so many great memories. Have a great weekend my friend, and don't forget to forward the new addie! :¬)

    xxx

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  17. Jimmy; It's 'Bulmers'! And 'Salt & Vinegar' Tayto's if ye don't mind! see ya later! :¬)

    Macy; Now you said it. I often stop myself in the moment of doing things with the family just to make a mental picture to remember. Some people think I am a daft one, I don't care! (I am a bit daft though, I think it helps with this journey we're all on, don't you? :¬)

    xxx

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  18. Kim; The wonderful relationship you have with your kids is very obvious! You are a good man, a good father.

    I would love to be going to THAT convention with ye! I look forward to the photies! :¬)

    Angela; Thanks for dropping by again. Have you ever 'come back' to Galway? It is one of the most beautiful places! (What part of the county was you Da from?) :¬)

    xxx

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  19. Well now, you missed a good afternoon/evening at the cards in the backroom of O'Donnels, with oul Joe Devine taking the pot at £133 on little more than a pair of Kings. Ronnie Lafferty and his young fella were lifted outside of the Golden Chicken the night, it would seem that paying for food is not on their current list of priorities. I believe they gave your name and address at the front desk down at the polis station. Will you be wanting that new wheelbarrow seeing as how you might be away for at least 6 months, depending on the price of fried chicken in todays fast-food market? Only, I have a job lined up for it the moro, and it'll save me going all the way doon the road for a start!

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  20. Pat; Mrs. Map & I have both done our best to instill those very same qualities in our girls, and so far it seems that we are successful!

    As for kilt ironing, I spent quite a great portion of my early life in a pipe band, and well ironed kilts (and jackets) got you extra marks in a competition! Da was an army man for a while and presenting oneself at ones best was uppermost for him. He always told me that we didn't need the most expensive clothes, once something was clean & tidy, and well fitting, and if you held yourself well, walked tall, then anybody could look a million dollars. He always did! :¬)

    xxx

    Ryan; I am sorry to hear that. I saw it much too often on the estate where I grew up.

    The pub is still there, under new owners. It will never be the same as when Mr. Halpin owned it though. I'll bring ye for a pint if ye ever get over here. Just gimme a shout. :¬)

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  21. Jimmy; Isn't it a grand day ye're havin? I thought an auldfella like yersel would be in the feathers by now and you after been up with the dawn?

    You can have the wheelbarra back, I couldn't find the start button on it anyway! :¬)

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  22. Sausage; He was pal, send me the bill for the next round with yer own auldfella! :¬)

    Pearl; Thank you, great praise seeing as it's coming from you! I may not often comment but my day would not be complete without a visit to your place! Have a great weekend my friend. :¬)

    xxx

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  23. Ahh now lad, tis up with the dawn and no time for the feathers until the money is in and the wooden cart and Tommy the horse are safely parked up for the night. Tomorrow I have rags to collect and goldfish in bags to give away. Is it the usual blue wan you're wanting for yourself like?

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  24. GYPSYWOMAN; Thank you so much my dear friend, I often hear his voice, and I have actually sensed his 'smell' in times of trouble. :¬)

    xxx

    hope; And I have had those conversations, sometimes in dreams, other times when I visit his grave, and yet others when I am alone in the house. Thanks my friend. :¬)

    xxx

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  25. Jimmy; 'Tis! Ye know me well, better than most who've know me longer I thinks! :¬)

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  26. Dad was from a farm near Rosshill, on Galway Bay. Second son, and second eldest of 9, like many of his generation emigration was one of the few options especially after WW2. No one else came to Oz but thankfully his sister, a Nun was a wonderful letter writer, so she kept us all in contact. Mum was a Cork girl so lot of family there too! Planning for a pilgrimage in 2013. I was last there in 1976. Angela

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  27. Hi....Found your blog through Kim's
    Really beautiful post...:)Made me think of all the little things that my Dad used to do for me. Picking me up from school, bedtime stories and millions of other tiny little things. Too bad that I only realized how much all of it meant to me now,when I'm living away from them.

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  28. Angela; Galway & Cork, two of my favourite places for getaway weekends with Mrs. Map!

    2013 isn't that far away, be sure to gimme a shout when you're here! :¬)

    xxx

    Falak; Welcome, and thanks for dropping by.
    I'm sure your Dad knows how much you appreciate all he's done for you, and who says you can't tell him now?

    Come back again, nice to 'meet' you. :¬)

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  29. Just noticing that lovely green loyalty marker you've got on your blog now, Map... BS, is it??? ;-) xoxoxo

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  30. Pon; A gift from a pal. :¬)

    xxx

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  31. Map - Your love for your old "Da" is very much self evident.

    Keep the Faith Bro

    TBD

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