Thursday, 1 July 2010

DIE? me? DIE?

So, we're in the pub tonight.
And we were talking about inquests, as you do, into the cause(s) of death.
My younger sister was supporting her best friend today,
At the inquest of her said friend's husbands death.
He committed suicide by hanging a month before their first wedding anniversary.
As you can imagine, all present were still traumatised by the event, which happened only a few months ago.
A tragic affair for all concerned.
And the conversation got around to funerals.
And how the funeral service would be performed etc.
And Herself asked if I had a particular priest in mind for mine!
A 'particular' priest! Bastards the lot!
I nearly choked on my pint!
(Why do wives always presume the husband will 'leave this mortal coil' first?)
She knows I'm not catholic, but she says that maybe the kids would want a traditional catholic funeral.
Protestant bastards the lot of 'em!
And 'HELLO'? Who says I'm gonna be the first to go??
I have great intentions of being the last to go!
The very LAST I tells ya! :¬)


  1. My sister, the 2nd born, once turned to me after a relative's funeral and said, "It'll be sad when you're the first to die."

    Thunderstruck, I muttered, "Why would I die first?"

    "Because you're the oldest," she replied, as if I were an idiot.

    "I won't be the first to go if you keep talking like that," I mumbled. Now she looks at me funny. :)

    I'm betting you'll be here a spell. Here, have another beer. :)

  2. Never mind a church funeral... have a huge wake, prop you up in the corner with a pint in your enbalmed hand, and have one helluva party! Lots of music, drink, laughter and tears... the only way to see one along to the Ether.

  3. hope; Cheers, beers preserve yeah? :¬)


    Pon; And you are invited hon, it is a long way off though, so you have a while to save for the flight! :¬)

    (And I hope to have a few drinks with yerself & Jimmy long before then Ponydoll!)


  4. mr. moose is in charge of the cremation and then catapulting of my ashes across the savannah river. he is also in charge of the party to follow. no services other than the pulling of the corks. xoxoxox

  5. Sav; Can I pre-book my invite? That's my kinda service. I can pull corks like the best!



  6. Sad to say the numbers are stacked against us my friend... women live longer. (something to do with us having to put up with them I think)
    My long gone dad once said in relation to this same question that married men go sooner than their wives...but it sure as hell feels like longer...

  7. I'm such an ass.... mother is still in the back room (in a tiny box) waiting for her festivities.... in my defense... she hasn't bitched about it yet.

  8. No churches in our family. When my Mum died, we went from body to ashes, then had a gathering to disperse then from the top of the cliff. Same kind of idea for me and the wife, whoever goes first. I don't like the idea of graves or kept ashes, because those left behind feel obligations to maintain.

  9. I tried to post a comment on this last night but Blogger wouldn't allow me! It's an epidemic!

    Mrs. Wife knows what to do with my ashes. A little in Central Park. A little in Las Vegas. A little on the New Jersey shoreline. A little in Atlantic City. A little in London. But NO CHURCHES!

  10. Stew
    It's not the worst conversation that you will ever have.
    You know that I have no family so my friends know my wishes---no funeral and those who wish should turn up at the local and tell lies about me.
    I knew exactly what my Ma wanted.
    So why not have that conversation
    Oh, but hang on for a wee while til I get there

  11. I'm saving' for the gathering of me, yourself and Jimmy, Map. I might be too old to travel by the time you decide to kick the bucket... seeing as you're a young pup and I'm an old spinster! ;-) xoxo

  12. Let's buck the trend. I'd like to be the first to go. I do love and value life but without himself would be rudderless.

  13. I love Savannah's plan to be catapulted, I'm rewriting my funeral notes right away (mmm a canon...)

  14. Tempo; You're right, I know. Us men always seem to go first. Maybe it's 'cos the gals cope better with loss? My life wouldn't be right without Herself anyway! :¬)

    @eloh; Mothers eh? I've delivered a few 'mothers' in my time as a courier! Not one of them tipped me! :¬)


  15. Kim; Like yerself, I'd rather not go to a church, but Herself says I'm goin' whether I like it or not! I don't mind having a grave though, I like cemeteries. I always have a grand time wandering around the old ones about here, so full of history. (And bodies!) :¬)

    UB; There will be a little of you all about the place then? Quite fussy and precise ain't ya? :¬)

  16. Clyde; Hey mate, I have no intention of going anywhere soon, except that is, to maybe visit yerself for a pint or two down under! (And I don't mean Lucifer's place!) Make sure you gimme a shout if you make it up here first! :¬)

    Pon; Hey, and what a gathering that'll be! I can just imagine the hangovers now! It'll have to be in Glesgae methinks, I haven't been for so long, and the other fella owes me SO many pints at this stage! That is something I am really looking forward to! :¬)


  17. Pat; I know EXACTLY what you mean missus! :¬)


    Lulu: What a gas! It should really be done by someone dressed as 'Dennis the Menace'! :¬)

  18. Do stick around for a while, even just to give me a chance to catch up on your posts. And make sure you have good sandwiches at your wake. I always get peckish.

  19. Madame DF; I have every intention of sticking around for quite a while! Care to join myself and Jimmy and Ponita for a drink one of these days? (Might be a couple of years off, but nothing wrong with a bit of planning eh?)

    No sandwiches at my wake though, purely a liquid affair! (Hic!)