Saturday, 24 April 2010

I Stand Accused!

It has been said,
By many,
And in the near past,
That I, Map,
For 'tis me,
Have a tendency to do,
Such a thing, as,
(Which, while may make some maidens blush,
And others run for cover,
And others still,
Grab me in inappropriate places,
And I don't mean in a church!)
A flirt?

OK, I know I do this 'thing',
It's just that I never realised it was flirting!
And most of the time it's just good harmless fun.
On my part anyway.

During tonights gig I was doing 'mah thang'
And a lovely lady was 'responding', at the front of the stage.
Nothing out of the ordinary for me.
'Flirting' if that's what you call it.
I call it 'playing to the crowd'!
But then 'boyfriend' appears,
And places his frame between Map and herself!
(And 'boyfriend' is BIG!)
So she tries to move around him,
To get in my view, as it were, again,
But 'boyfriend' is quick,
(And obviously very insecure!)
And pushes her away from the stage, back to her seat.
And then he comes back and dances in front of me,
With his back to me, trying to block me from the audience!

What can I say,
He's in his early twenties, good looking lad,
I'm almost fifty, tall, shaved head, tattoos, fit, singing, dancing,

Ah, now I get it! :¬)



  1. Hah! Excellent. I just love this.

  2. Leah; So, the Jimmy an' mesel are threatnin' to make an appearence in NYC!

    Do ya think they could handle us? :¬)


  3. As you know, it's not about age and physical attributes. It’s what you project. Men and women in their early 20s don’t know that yet but they’ll find out soon enough. Do you know who Larry King is? He’s had a talk show on CNN for ages. He’s been married NINE TIMES but he looks like a lizard.

    Good Christ, where did you get that photo of Mr. Jones. Mrs. Wife and I saw him perform in Atlantic City once. It was a great show! But he was much older than what you see above.

  4. UB; How many futons you say you got?

    And I'm not sharing with Jimmy! Between the snoring and the farts! A lad can only take so much! :¬)

    Tom (Jones) is a trooper, we go to the same Botox clinic every third tuesday! We DO have a laugh!

  5. Oh Map! That made me laugh! No doubt that young lad was insecure! A handsome devil such as yourself bopping about on stage and crooning to the girls... enough to make any boy green with envy! Stars are always chick magnets... ;-)

  6. I'm still laughing at this one... you're my pal, we drink pints, we laugh, we take the pish, but not once have I ever seen you grab your crotch and jiggle your arse so much as you did that night.

    By the way pal, make sure you wash those fitba socks you had wedged into your trunks before they come back by way of masel.

    Sex bomb? More like stink bomb, especially by the smell of yer own arse after a night on the stout.

  7. bless his heart, sugar, it's not his fault, he's only a boy! xoxoxoxo

  8. You should be flattered - he obviously felt threatened. And he must learn NOT to push ladies around.

  9. Ha ha ha, I love it----hey, some of us can talk to the ladies and make them feel at ease--some may call our attention flirting, but it makes others feel insecure---20 or 50, who cares
    Just keep on taunting them

  10. You mean it's just been flirting? And there's me thinking I meant something deeper to you...

  11. Funny stuff, Map. The flirting will only get worse when your chrome dome has some grey highlights to it. There's something mysterious about us older guys, but I haven't figured it out yet.

  12. Pon; Calm down now, I wouldn't go as far as 'Chick Magnet'! :¬)


    Jimmy; Socks washed and on the line, thanks for the lend. There are very few of us with size 15 feet! And thanks for showing me that trick! :¬)


  13. Sav; Bless his heart indeed! :¬)


    Pat; He was quite a pain really, and her a good looking girl. But there's no accounting for taste! :¬)


    Clyde; I like your attitude! Hope your week is getting better pal. :¬)

  14. Kim; Oh dear, I've upset you now!

    (Big Day getting closer! Wishing you all the best!) :¬)

    Charlie; Oh the grey is already there pal, that's another of the reasons I keep it shaved! :¬)

  15. Having married a (now ex) muso, I know all about the girls flirting with the band... and let's be honest - the band guys love/d it!! :D

    I'll bet you're hot to trot when you're on stage, oozing plenty of sex appeal - it's no small wonder the lay-dees love ya! ;-)

  16. An appearance in NYC, you say? that would be simply amazing. I could handle both of you...but only with the help of the Unbearable Banishment. Between the two of us maybe...

  17. Helga; OF COURSE we love it! I tend to get a lot of 'Old Lady' attention at weddings though! They all want to rub my head! :¬)


    Leah; Yeah, Jimmy is threatening to take me off on a jaunt one of these days! God help America! :¬)


  18. If ya do head to NYC, make sure I know well in advance so I can book a flight. You're not setting foot on this continent without meeting me too! ;-)

  19. It is all about the power (and definitely if you have) the money to back it up; cover up (in fact) the little power one really has. Case in point: remember J R Ewing "one of the sexiest men “ ..... A spineless creature. Women love to fee they are been taken care of.
    I don’t know for the life of me why my wife is my wife;-)

  20. I always love going to the bar near my house to see the live bands. My favorite part is the groupies. Every band has some, and they always push tables together right up in front of the stage so they have good seats, and they get there hours before the band does. I enjoy seeing these women come into a biker bar, wearing their nicest clothes, like they just left the office.

  21. Momo; Well I KNOW my wife didn't marry me for my money! It would have been a very short relationship!

    As to why you're wife is your wife, maybe it's because you are one of the good people! And she probably loves ya too! :¬)

    AJ; Ah groupies! Them were the days!
    I used to love playing biker bars, a long long time ago! :¬)


  22. Good to know you've still got it. Or something very like it!

  23. Okay, now that Blogger is full and has quit eating my comments....

    You said you were an ENTERTAINER. :) Boyfriend had nothing to worry about unless the lovely lass was trying to toss you her undies.

    Pat was right...little boy attitude in large boy body still made him a BOY. And the reason "bald is beautiful"? (Can I tell him girls?)

    It usually signifies some BRAINS are ensconced there-in. ;)

    I say give Tom Jones a run for his money...but heaven help you if you own a pair of trousers THAT tight.

  24. Madame DF: I think I have something like that! :¬)


    hope; There were NO undies being tossed my way! (Not that night anyway!)

    And yeah, for some reason a lot of ladies want to rub my bald head. And some men! :¬0

    I had those exact trews, but it was back in the late 70's! :¬)