Sunday, 25 March 2012

Clerical Abuse

(Not the Actual Sister Rosario!)

Such a strange room. I had never seen ceilings so high. Six lights hung from the lofty heights. Four enormous windows, each with 18 panes of glass, ropes at their edges.

Sister Rosario sat on her huge desk, half smiling, half asleep, from what I could tell. 'Go to sleep children', she would say 'as gaeilge' (in Irish), which meant we had to fold our arms on the desk in front of us and bury our heads and pretend to fall asleep. This actually meant that she was about to have a doze!

We were all terrified to 'be awake' so we kept our heads down, most of the time. But this day I remember sneaking a peak as she rose, slowly, from her plinth, and made her way quietly, well as quietly as a rotund nun on creaky wooden floorboards can, out the door.

One by one more and more of my fellow pupils raised their heads, looking at each other, noticing that the Sister was gone. We all 'woke up'! One boy shouted 'SNOW'! We all looked towards the enormous windows and yes, it was indeed snowing. A magical, wonderful, out of this world sight to a room full of four year old boys in their first week at school!

I don't know what made me do what followed, but something made me shout 'School is over!' ' and I rushed towards the door followed by my classmates.

She was standing just outside the door (having a sneaky fag I like to think) as I opened it, and ran headlong into her bulky blackness, with the power of almost forty four year olds behind me.
She landed face down in the snow covered yard.

The sheer horror of what we (I) had done resulted in a mass scream I have yet to hear again!
We all ran back into the classroom, jumping behind our desks and 'fell asleep' (in gaelic) before she picked herself up and trudged back into the room!

I don't remember much else of that day, maybe she was drunk? (she certainly had the rosy cheeks), but I cannot remember being punished for our dastardly deeds.

Kids - One
Clerics - Nil

Game on!


  1. That would have been very scary but having got away with it you deserve a big pat on the back...well done that man!

  2. A fantastic memory! That should have sent you straight to the confessional.

    The photo is of Mother Angelica. She had a TV program here in the U.S. whereby she would berate you for being a bad Christian. A portion of the program was a call-in, and punk teenagers used to phone in and make fun of her. I never laughed so hard in my life.

  3. So, you were born a performer, where you? :)

    This so fits in with my audio book for commute this week, "Angela's Ashes", read by author Frank McCourt. He'd just finished explaining this kind of schooling to me last week.

    Love his voice and storytelling qualities so much, I found out he'd written 2 more books, so I ordered the audio versions!

    I'd love to hear YOU tell this story aloud. :)

  4. That made me laugh!!! I can just picture her getting bowled over by a horde of four year olds! Perhaps because she was facing away from the door, she didn't see who the instigator was? ;-)

  5. Tempo; The poor nun, I remember her fondly! :¬)

    UB; Confession? Now that's another story! :¬)

    hope; Frank, a fellow Limerickman. If you ever get over here I'll bring you on a tour of 'Ashes' Limerick.

    Spoken word? I might try that! :¬)


    Pon; She was a harmless old dear, I can still see her big smiley face framed by that weird head-piece! :¬)


  6. You bad boy! And only four years old

  7. What a cool tour that would be. :) Started book 2 today, entitled "Tis". Picks up where the other left off..and I only had to wait 10 seconds to switch from Book 1 to Book 2.

    YEP, you NEED to tell these stories of yours. Practice on us. :)

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  9. Ah, and you're still prepared to crash tackle nun, to see the world of freedom

  10. Wasn't a bad comment. Just a double post.

    Work computer= stupid blogger.

  11. Pat; I'm not a bad boy, just misunderstood! :¬)


    hope; If you could hear me right now with my SEVERE headcold and the snot bungee-jumpin' from me nostrils! :¬)


    Clyde; Hey Pal! Where ya been eh? And yes, alesson I learned early, always tackle a nun from behind! :¬)